35 mm.

As mentioned in my previous post, I am trying to live my life through a creative lens. I decided that I am going to pick up a camera and try to document my life as much as I can. When I went home for thanksgiving break, I found a little film camera at home and decided to carry it around with me. Each month I am going to go through an entire roll of film. 24 photos a month. Though it may sound super easy, I am not much of a photo person. 

Back in high school I was in love with film and having physical prints of photos. You know when your parents show you photo album after photo album of photos of you when you were a child? They always seemed to have a camera in their hands. They documented your entire life growing up and now they have those memories forever.

The internet isn't forever. At least, not as far as I know. It is rapidily growing everyday and it continues to improve. But maybe 20 years from now these websites won't exist and I won't have any photos. Maybe every moment I posted on Instagram will be erased. I want to make sure I have phsyical copies of my life duirng my 20's. So far I have 1 roll of film for the month of December and still have to finish up January's. (I also have to make sure I go develop these photos-so far I haven't devloped December). I want to fill up photo albums that I can show to my kids when I'm old about how crazy the 2000's were. 

-Alexia

2017.

Two months have gone by since I've posted anything here. No, I did not forget about. Sadly my hard drive broke and I couldn't afford a new laptop. (going to school with no laptop really sucks) Fortunately for me, my dad gifted me a brand new Macbook Air for christmas. (I cried) And now I can return to this, my easy shop, and hopefully many more creative things.

We all know how much 2016 sucked as a nation. Many great people passed away and we are soon welcoming in satan as our president. As much as it sucked as a nation, 2016 treated me pretty well. It was the year I grew up. You're probably thinking, "you're 23, you should have grown up a long time ago." Yes, you're right. But I didn't.

I learned a lot about myself this year. I learned how to live on my own. I learned that I can't afford to buy coffee everyday. I learned how to cook. (kind of) I learned how to live without a car. and I learned that I NEED to be a creative person.

Creativity helps soothe the soul. I usually am thinking so much about tests, works, grades, rent, being organized that I forget I need to let it out. So 2017 is going to be the year of creativity. (and realizing things) I have a few ideas about what I want to do, but my main focus is this blog and my etsy shop.

some things to remember this year:
-read a lot/everything
-write more
-treat your body right (eat well + run more)
-your skin is beautiful, take care of it
-create what you like, despite what others think
-CONFIDENCE
-be nice
-save your money

I hope you take advantage of the new year. 

Love,

alexia

love.

Feeling loved is such a great feeling. Feeling loved by two people that aren't related to you and have no obligation to you is such a great feeling. Even though my best friends tell me they love me everyday, I don't have to hear them to know that.
I know they love me because they drive 8 hours to come see me. I know they love me because they support me in anything/everything I do. They hold my hand while I get a tattoo. They go to craft stores with you even though they don't want to be there. (boy taylor) But they also call me out when I'm being ridiculous. People who love you will support you and keep you grounded. They watch out for you and care for you. My two best friends make me so happy.

Thank you for driving to visit me. Thank you for getting drunk and playing mini golf. and thank you for loving me.

ps. i love a lot of other people just as much, (rib, lenni, my sister) but this was a special post just for them. 

September 26, 2016

Today is a very hot day. It reminds me of home. Except in reality, back at home its over 100 degrees and everyone would rather stay in a freezer all day then enjoy the sunshine. Today, I am enjoying the sunshine. I am very stressed out, but I am okay. I actually feel happy. 

I wanted this post to be an update on what I've done since my meltdown: 

1. I went out with my roommate. She got her palm read & I bought two jackets. This is me being happy. 

2. I bought clay and made some necklaces. I'm really loving my  new designs. I also finally made an etsy shop. BUT, there's nothing listed. You can find it here. There will be stuff listed soon!

3. I made another plant hanger.

Today is only Monday but I kind of like this idea of weekly list of what happened? Lets see how this idea goes. 

xoxo

One month and Seven days

One month and seven days is how long it took for me to have my first emotional breakdown.

At around 11:30 pm I was walking home from the bus stop, after what seemed like the worlds worst shift. I called my boyfriend to complain about how much I hate my new job and deserve better. He told me one of our good friends wanted to talk to me because he wanted someone "cheerful and happy." I told him I wasn't in a very cheerful mood but he handed me the phone anyway.
My drunk friend was sad (very emotional) talking about his love life. We talk for a few minutes and my 'advice' was enough to make him happy.
He then switches to "How's San Francisco?"
"It's so great," I say as the tears start rolling down my face.
He hands the phone back to my boyfriend and he asks me whats wrong.
"I'll call you back, I have to pee."
I walked into my house and straight to the bathroom, because I actually did have to pee, and started crying my little heart out.

The tiniest sentence is what set me off. To be completely honest, San Francisco IS great. I live in a beautiful city, surrounded by beautiful people. As hard as school is, I really like my classes and I like learning.

I got a new job recently, as a barista. I've had a barista job before, the only difference is this one has a high request for drinks covered in caramel sauce and blended drinks. I've worked lots of part-time jobs in my life because I'm not the type of person that can work a job I hate. And if we're being honest again, I've quit all of my jobs.

Last night after I spent 30 minutes in the bathroom, smeared eyeliner all over my face, I realized that I've reached a point in my life where I can no longer work these meaningless, life draining jobs. Somewhere between someone teaching me to make whipped cream and learning how to make a blended drink I told myself I couldn't do this anymore.

Of course I'm smarter than I used to be and am not going to quit until I figure out what I'm going to do. (I've done that before. I was very poor for a while) I feel as though I have too much talent that is being wasted. What exactly is my talent? I'm not sure. It might be finally making a shop for my jewelry. It might not be. I'll never actually know if I don't try.

Last night was very much needed. I needed to feel like I've hit 'rock bottom' so I could change something. If I just kept telling myself everyday that I was OKAY, I was never actually going to change anything. Besides, a good cry never hurt anybody.

San Francisco WILL get better. I've already made a good friend that I enjoy spending time with (we saw local natives & got our eyebrows done) and all of my roommates are great gals. I've already learned a valuable life lesson one month in, I'm excited to see what other life lessons I'll learn the next few months.

New City, New Me?

probably not, but I'll give it a try.

Here I finally am, in a big city full of hope and opportunity, feeling lost and lonely. I didn't think it would be this lonely.

I've lived here for almost a month. In this month I started blogging/vlogging, yoga, and have made 1 friend. I stay home almost every night and rarely leave my bed. I guess moving away isn't everything I thought it would be. BUT, I don't want this to be a pity party post.

I always felt like San Francisco was where I would FIND myself. Every time I would come here on vacation I could always picture myself moving here. The people here seem like they have their life together and are happy. Happiness is probably the most important thing. I want to live here and be happy. I want to start working on my career. (even though I don't know what that is) I want to make art, whatever that 'art' may be for me.

fawn: noun 
-a young deer in its first year

Moving to a new city on my own is a lot like being thrown into the world for the first time, ex. a fawn. You don't know anyone, you don't know how things work, you don't have a favorite coffee shop and you can't just call someone to come over and comfort you when you're alone. Okay, not exactly like a fawn, but you know what I mean.

Going out and exploring is scary. Talking to new people is intimidating. I don't know where I'm going most of the time and I don't know how to get there. Then there's the most dreaded question: "What are your plans for today?" I'm constantly being asked this questions by roommates, friends, and parents. I want to be able to tell them I'm exploring and falling in love with my city, but the truth is I'm finding it really hard to adjust.
I know one that I will be able to go on the other side of San Francisco and explore on my own, but I can't right now.
But that's okay. Because I will soon. I'll learn my way around the city. I'll make friends. I'll do everything I've ever wanted to do. Everything takes time.

My first year in San Francisco is going to be a leaning experience. A time for me to figure out who I am and what I want to do. As scared and lonely I am, I am also excited and eager to see what I'll do with my life.